Radio Patterns

Though I’ve only been in Korea for a short time, I’ve already started to notice some trends in their radio broadcasts. For the most part I can’t understand any of the songs because they’re all in Korean, but every so often, be it at a restaurant, a grocery store, or coffee shop, an American rap song will find its way onto the airwaves. The best part about this is that since the rapping is an English, the curse words aren’t edited out, so to American listeners they still come through loud and clear. I was in a coffee shop near my house that was full of families and children when a whole slew f-bombs and other colorful turns of phrase came through the speakers courtesy of Dr. Dre and Eminem. Though it was little strange to see children and their parents bobbing their heads to lyrics about getting high and burning down houses, it was a striking reminder as to just how far from home I actually am. In the end, an English swear word in Korea is just a cat with no claws.

Another interesting radio trend is the fact that I’ve heard the song “Vincent” – Don McLean’s smooth jam about Vincent van Gogh that was a big hit back in the 70s – at least 8 times since I’ve been here. The last time I heard that song on the radio back at home was at least, well, never. Not that I’m complaining. The song is pretty killer. McLean’s velvety vocals and flawless finger picking really capture the desperation of the doomed artist. Plus, when was the last time a song about a 18th century Dutch post-impressionist painter ever ruled the airwaves (it’s a well known fact that “Harmony in Red,” – Motley Cru’s power ballad written as an homage to Henri Matiesse – failed to chart). My only question is why all of McLean’s best songs are about dead people. That kind of weirds me out.

First Trip To Seoul

Like all great cities, Seoul is a collision of cultures, architecture, and history, and this weekend, with my co-worker Minjung as my tour guide, I got my first look at this sprawling metropolis. Of course, the skies were pissing rain after being sunny all week, but that didn’t hamper my spirits or excitement as we took the 1.5 hour bus ride from Seosan and navigated the mind-boggling subway to our destination. After being in Seoul I now realize why everyone considers Seosan to be such a small city: compared to Seoul, every place is a small. As the 6th largest city in the world, Seoul has a population of over 10 million – to put that in perspective, New York – the largest city in the U.S. – has a population of just over 8 million. In Seoul skyscrapers intermingle with ancient palaces; Eastern culture intermingles with Dunkin’ Donuts, and everything moves in fast forward. Minjung and I took in art museums, palaces, meals, shopping, and tea rooms, but even with all that we didn’t even scratch the surface of what Seoul has to offer. I will definitely be going back, probably next weekend in fact, to continue exploring. Click to see pictures and descriptions.

Street Food #2

Meet my new best friend: Kimpap. These little slices of heaven can be found practically everywhere and they are a welcome relief to the festival of fatty fried fare that is feasted on so fervently on the street corners and tiny little restaurants in my neighborhood. Kimpap consists of rice, vegetables, and meat (ham, crab meat, fish, etc) on a bed of steamin’ hot white rice. This loveliness then gets rolled up in seaweed paper and then coated with some sort of light honey sauce, where it is then shoved unceremoniously into my gullet. All in all, it’s delicious, fast, and cheap – just $1 per roll. Even better, when you’re finished eating you don’t feel like huge fat ass, unless of course you’re like me and eat 5 rolls at time, but is neither here nor there.

Tastiness Factor: 9

Reading Material

My main responsibility at the English academy is to help the kids practice their conversational English. Now I know what you’re thinking: “those poor kids are forced to conversations him?!” – but really it’s not that bad. One of the ways I do this is to read selections out of a specialized educational newspaper called “Kids Times” and discuss. After reading through a few of the editions, it turns out Kids Times is not only a great learning tool, it’s also hilarious! Every new copy holds at least a few wacky gems, and I’ll be sure to post the really good ones. Click the link below for a few more examples.

Take the test…

…It will blow your mind. The following link was created by the Transport For London Initiative to help increase bicycle safety and awareness. This video has been floating around for awhile, and when I first saw it I was struck by its simplicity and effectiveness, not too mention the fact that it’s worthy of a good chuckle. Check it.

One of these things…

…is not true.

1. The Korean birthday song has the same tune as the American Birthday song.

2. Korean Peanut M&Ms don’t have any peanuts inside, just the candy shell and an unsettling hollowness inside (a little like Paris Hilton).

3. Pubs are called “Hofs” *side note: I need to start a German-themed drinking establishment here in Korea and call it the Hassle Hof…I apologize for that in advance.

4. Koreans believe that direct eye contact during conversation shows boldness. Out of politeness they concentrate on the conversation, usually avoiding eye-to-eye contact.

5. Out here all money is supposed to be passed among parties using two hands.

6. There are two sets of numbers that are used depending on what you’re talking about (mostly I just point and grunt and hold up fingers…that usually gets the job done).

There Can Only Be One Explanation…

…Lil’ Jon has given up making shitty rap to become a Korean chocolate baron

Tune-age

Stumbled across an interesting site today for making mixtapes. It’s called Muxtape.com and it’s a pretty straightforward way to put together a set of tracks online that can be played back from any computer. The interface is a bit cumbersome (you can only upload one song at a time so it takes a little while) but it’s easy to follow and has that clean American Apparel aesthetic that’s so popular with the kids these days. Feeling inspired I put together a little mix based on my favorite genre of music of all time: marginal hits by semi-famous bands from the mid-90’s. More blips-on-the-radar than bonafied one-hit wonders, these songs were my favorite back in the day when I used to blast the 107.7 The End and rock the cassette player and the puffy headphones to class. Check it out at http://sinkorschwim.muxtape.com/ if you’re feeling nostalgic.

Track Listing:

1. Soul Coughing – Circles

2. Fun Loving Criminals – Scooby Snacks

3. Summercamp – Drawer

4. Low Fidelity Allstars – Battleflag

5. Butthole Surfers – Pepper

6. Dead Prez – Hip Hop

7. K’s Choice – Not an Addict

8.  Sneaker Pimps – 6 Underground

9. Primitive Radio Gods – Standing Outside a Broken Telephone Booth

10.  Space – Female of the Species

11.  Imperial Teen – Yoo Hoo

12. Neutral Milk Hotel – King of Carrot Flowers pt. 1

Name Game pt. 2

Yesterday I had a class with the kid named Simon and one other boy who had not picked an English name yet. I asked him if he had thought of one he would like to use and he said that he had: Paul. So now I have a class with Paul Simon. It’s really not that funny but for some reason I could not stop smiling. Quite honestly, the way things are going, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that by the end of my time here I will also have a class with a Garfunkel.

Sweet Fancy Moses

For those of you who know me, you’re probably well aware that I’m not one to go to a club and bust a move. I’m more of head-rocker type; bouncing my head knowingly to the beat like some sort of overgrown bobblehead. My shoulders and hips are like oceanic plates: seldom moving and when they do, it’s usually a disaster. But all that gets thrown at the window in Korea. As one of maybe 5 Americans who live in the city, kids and young adults automatically assume that we’re in the know when it comes to U.S. pop culture. So when it comes to dancing, I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want and the kids treat it like it’s the second coming of the Twist. Last Saturday I went to a local club (that feels weird even to write) and wasted little time before busting out some of the worst dance moves ever witnessed, and to my surprise, every single one caught on like a bad case of cholera. First I started with a hoe-down jig, you know, the one where you kick out your legs all wide and swing your bent arms across your stomach ala Ashlee Simpson when she f’d it up on SNL. After that sweeping success, I hit the locals with a little taste of what I like to call the “Schwimmer Shuffle,” just to see how far I could take it. It’s a mixture of the C-walk, that Russian Kick dance, and a splash of Elaine, and in any other setting it’s liable to get you kicked out of pretty much any bar/club/wedding/bat mitzvah, but in Korea, it’s pure kinetic gold. Like a kid perched on his dad’s shoulders dunking a basketball, I couldn’t miss. I’ll be taking requests for any other busted dance moves you’d like me to try out, so if you have suggestions send ‘em my way and I’ll let you know the results.