I opened my inbox this morning and and what did I find but this little guy staring back at me through the monitor. Not a bad start to the day until I realized that my parents have replaced me with a puppy. They said it was too quite in the house, so in my absence they have invited this Boston Terrier to take my spot as resident destroyer of household items and eater of food that has fallen on the floor (five seconds is totally legit). At first I was a bit mad, but come on, look at that face, and thosepaws. I haven’t been that cute since, well, never. If you break it down it’s probably an upgrade for them, but in my defense I’ve never pooped in the yard (never have never will, just a policy I have). Anyway, he doesn’t have a name yet. Might I suggest: Sir Snugglesworth of Wallingford. No? No I can’t? Ok point taken. If you have suggestions let me know and I’ll pass them on to my parents – that is if they even remember my name anymore.
In an effort to counteract the eternal suckiness that is Thursday, I give you this glorious picture, courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com. This made me laugh today, and as we all know, laughter is the best medicine, especially when your pharmacist bans you for using forged prescription slips. But I digress. Hey, look! A panda!
If this picture is any indication, the Hanoi International Airport has one of the worst airport bookstores ever. There were probably only about 15 books scattered on the shelves, and from what I could tell, most of them seemed to have been recovered from passengers who had abandoned them in the terminal. But amidst all the randoms, there was one title that had several copies, that of course being “Red Rock Redhead” by the one and only Dirk Fletcher. Now I know they say never judge a book by its cover, but look at thing. It’s a masterpiece. Guns, redheads, mustaches – it’s got it all. Entranced, I read on, and like Shakespeare and Hemingway before him, Old Man Dirk really has a way with the words. Political correctness, on the other hand – if his first page is any indication – well he could give a rat’s ass about your goddamn political correctness. (more…)
If you’re like me and love avoiding real responsibilities like work, paying bills, cleaning, or bathing, then you will love this devilishly addictive time-waster courtesy of www.yearbookyourself.com. This little do-dad can take a simple headshot and instantly transform it into a yearbook photo from days gone by. From the big thick-rimmed glasses of the 50s to the feathered mullets of the 80s and beyond, this site has everything you need to piddle away countless hours of office time. All you need is photograph of yourself (or a friend) looking straight into the camera and the site will do the rest. Just upload it into the app, get the sizing right, and boom: commence procrastination. I think it was originally designed as some sort viral advertising for a string of malls, but who cares, it’s awesome. Click to see my trip down memory lane. (more…)
The games have all been played, the medals have all been given out, and the sappy montages have all been broadcast, but by-god, I’ve still got a little Olympic fever running through my veins. Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, that tiny Chinese gymnast who won all those medals even though she’s probably not old enough to even get her learners permit yet – this year’s games had so many captivating story lines that it’s hard to turn off the spirit just yet. So, in honor of a US team which claimed a whopping 110 medals, I give you perhaps one of the most unique, soulful, and all-around beautiful lnterpretations of the “Star Spangled Banner” ever performed: Marvin Gaye’s 1983 NBA All-Star game performance at the Forum in Inglewood, CA. I defy you not to get goosebumps. And oh yeah, one more thing – USA, USA, USA!
“Look at this? Somebody double parked and blocked us in. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHOSE CAR THAT IS? Maybe there’s a note on it. No, no note. Can you believe this?” – George Costanza, Seinfeld
You think parking back home is a pain in the ass? Try Korea. In a country the size of Indiana with over 40 million inhabitants, parking becomes downright cutthroat. No sidewalk or curb is off limits when it comes to drivers looking to stash their Kias, Daewoos, or Hyundais. Though the parking will continue to be atrocious, Koreans at the very least seem to have come to terms with it as a part of their daily lives. In fact, double parking is so common in Korea that nearly every vehicle has its owner’s telephone number posted in the front window in case someone desperately needs to get out. Sure parking may be inconvenient, but at least people are polite. George Costanza would be proud. A few more…
Shot this video during my recent trip to Vietnam. Late one night this kid was busking up and down the streets of Hanoi. Even though I couldn’t understand a word he was singing, I found him to be incredibly captivating. With a tattered guitar in one hand, a slightly wounded voice, a battery-pack strapped to his back, and a mildly disfigured friend serving as a roadie, I’m pretty sure this guy had a pretty heavy back story. And is it just me, or does his song kind of sounded like “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers? Amigright? Anyway, if anyone out there in internet land knows speaks Vietnamese and knows what he is singing, let me know.
“Life here is better down where it’s wetter.” – Sebastian
Taking advantage of a long weekend (thank you Korean Independence Day), my friends and I took a bullet train from Seoul to Busan, a city of four million located on the country’s southern coast. Unfortunately the weather was not cooperating, so we took refuge at the Busan Aquarium. Seeing as I haven’t been to an aquarium since I was maybe seven or eight years old, this proved to be quite an event. There were Jackass Penguins, Pig-Nosed Turtles, and probably a whole slew of other fish with esteem-destroying names. But out of all the fish in the massive tanks, my favorite had to be the illusive Stingray. So smooth, so graceful, so stingy. After about 30 minutes of tracking it’s every move, I finally got his picture…
Boo-Yes! I should probably have a job at National Geographic or something with these photo skills of mine. From a distance this guy looks like he’s a just a chilled-out, happy-go-lucky kinda dude – the kind of fish you might veg out and watch a movie marathon with. How could this be the same lethal animal that KILLED STEVE IRWIN. I didn’t know what to think. I was confused. That’s when I decided to zoom in…
Sweet mother of Moses! Run for the hills! It’s the spawn of Satan himself. This doesn’t look like a fish, it looks like some sort of demon ghost with a heroin addiction searching for his next fix. I now know why I haven’t been to an aquarium in a while, and with freaky-looking fish like Mr. Stingray here haunting my dreams, I probably won’t be going back any time soon.
It’s Olympic season again, that singularly unifying event that brings nations together through athletic competition, sportsmanship, and all the grotesque facial expressions that occur in the process. Seriously, can anyone look good while participating in the weightlifting events. I can’t even it watch it without feeling like I’m on the verge of getting a sports hernia. Anyway, this being the first time I’ve seen the games from a non-U.S. perspective, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s impossible to watch the Olympics without feeling like you’re being bludgeoned over the head with the patriotism-stick. While the old ‘ol Red White and Blue berates viewers with NBC’s never-ending schmaltz-fest of sappy, sepia-tinted vignettes set to violin music and Bob Costas voice-overs, Korea takes a different approach: repetition. That’s right – repetition. That’s right – repetition. If a Korean medals in any event – be it synchronized swimming, judo, weightlifting, or synchronized judo weightlifting – you can count on seeing the full match six to seven times a day. I must have seen the South Korean women’s basketball team beat Brazil four times by now – and that was only the first game in the qualifying round! To be fair, South Korea is doing exceptionally well in the ‘08 games and currently sit third in the medal standings with 13, six of them gold. Still, whoever is calling the shots at the local station is missing the point. Instead of broadcasting the Korean men’s handball team’s victory over Denmark on an endless loop, why not explore some of the athletic diversity that the games offer, even if it means showing something that doesn’t include Korean athletes. How ’bout a little men’s basketball, or even better, a little women’s beach volleyball. Lord knows the our idiot president will be watching. Anyway, I’ve gotta run. I’ve got a full day of sweet badminton action to watch.
