sink or schwim.

What To Put In Your Bindle

October 6, 2008 · 4 Comments

Everything Old Is New Again

Well, it’s official. The global economy has completely crapped the bed. International markets are eroding faster than Santa Monica hillsides after a rainy season, the Dow Jones is an a tail spin, and every one seems to be looking for the nearest mattress to stash their remaining savings under. Yes, times are bleak, but at least there’s one good thing that people can look forward to: the Bindle Renaissance. Who needs a $200 North Face backpack when you have a sturdy stick and bandanna? Computer bags, messenger bags, handbags, pocketbooks, wallets, purses,  European carry-alls – all just mere relics of the past. Mark my words people: Bindles will be coming back with a vengeance.

Here are some Bindle Fast Facts:

Bindle (from German das Bündel = bundle, bale) is a term used to describe the bag, sack, or carrying device stereotypically used by the (commonly American) sub-culture of hobos. The person carrying a bindle was called a bindlestiff, combining bindle with the Average Joe sense of stiff (from German Steif = stiff, rigid).

In popular culture the bindle is portrayed as being a stick with cloth or a blanket tied around one end for the carrying of items, with the entire array being carried over the shoulder. Particularly in cartoons, the bindles’ sacks usually have a polka-dotted or bandanna design. However, in actual use the bindle can take many forms, such as a backpack or carrier bag attached to a stick, meaning that bindle is specifically a term to identify bags or carrying devices used by travelers. [Wikipedia]

So now that you have the background information let’s get started filling this sucker up because lord knows, there’s not much time before you have to sell off most of your belongings in order to pay the rent. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Swiss Army Knife: to cut off hunks of cheese, open cans of baked beans, or fend off attackers

2. Small Tin: to eat said cheese, beans, off of

3. Picture of Your Family: the more wrinkled the better.

4. Flask Full of Booze: to keep you warm on those cold winter nights

5: A Deck of Playing Cards: to fend off the boredom while you’re waiting in line at the soup kitchen

6: Pen and Paper: To write poetic notes to loved ones that might someday make for great voice-overs in a Ken Burns documentary.

So that’s my list. Am I missing anything? What would you put in your bindle? Let me know before I can no longer afford my internet bill.

Related Listening: “Poor Places” – Wilco

Categories: humor
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4 responses so far ↓

  • Jessie // October 7, 2008 at 12:40 am | Reply

    In last week’s episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (which is a GREAT show that you should watch BTW) the character of Charlie decides he must become a hobo and tries to make a bindle, but to his dismay he can’t fit everything and goes on to wonder why hobos used hankies instead of beach towels for their bindles. I just thought it was odd to here talk of bindles more than once in one single week…bizarre.

  • Felicia // October 7, 2008 at 5:27 am | Reply

    it’s a hobo kit!

    i tried to make bindles multiple times when i was young, but it always ended up that my sack would slide down my stick and whack me in the face. perhaps you could also include a how-to diy bindle section?

  • Alex // October 11, 2008 at 2:44 am | Reply

    And printed in large friendly letters on the front of the Guide were “DON’T PANIC”.

  • Rafe // October 31, 2009 at 10:18 pm | Reply

    What I would put in my bindle: a deck of cards, a bottle of booze, a loaf of bread, iPod, iPhone, i Ware, and I don’t know what else.

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