Far From Home #16

Related viewing: “To the dogs or whoever” – Josh Ritter (Live)

An Unemployed Person’s Workday

via toothpastefordinner.com

I’ve been looking for work for about a month now and can safely say that it’s probably the 2nd most depressing, disheartening, and mundane things a person can do, right after actually working at a real job of course. Lots people who work for a living think I just loaf around all day, which is completely untrue. I only loaf for 30% of the day. The rest of the time is spent either eating or wallowing in self-pity. So, in an effort to dispel the myths and quell the confusion, I present you with a break down of my most recent non-working work day:

7:00 am: Woke up, realized I had no job, went back to sleep.

9:00 am: Woke up again and got ready for the day (read: put on a shirt). Noticed I had my shorts on inside out and backwards but decided it was too much hassle to fix them.

9:15 am: Went online and scoured my usual stomping grounds of Craigslist, Monster, Idealist, HotJobs and any other online job board available. I know this is mostly futile, but at least it helps me feel like I’m making progress. Progress towards what I don’t really know, but I try nonetheless.

11:00 am: Thought about going for a run but realized that would require me to fix my shorts. Decided instead to  Wikipedia the word “wiki.” Results disappointing. I did learn, however, that today is World Pi Approximation Day, which is ironic because lately I feel like I’m walking around in circles.

12:00 pm: Took a break from my intense internet browsing session and decided to have a healthy snack. Ended up eating two microwavable quesidillas and a plum.

12:45 pm: Back to the stomping grounds and surprise, surprise: nothing new.

2:00 pm: Went outside and threw the tennis ball for the dog. Came to the conclusion that the dog and I aren’t all that different. Neither of us have jobs and all we do is sleep and eat all day. The main difference is that I have $15,000 in student loans to pay back, while she sometimes eats her own poop.

2:30 pm: Called someone about a possible interview. They said they would have to reschedule to an undetermined date. Wondered aloud why God hated me so much.

3:00 pm: Played guitar while watching TV. Tried to make up new music for the commercials. Think I might have a future as a jingle writer. Now if only I could make the fat cats in Hollywood agree.

4:00 pm: Went online again to look for any new job postings. Got distracted. Ended up watching YouTube videos of kittens and puppies playing together.

4:30 pm: Read a chapter in a self-help book that said job-seekers should look to accomplish small tasks and celebrate their achievements. Took the passage to heart and fixed my shorts. Celebrated this occasion by eating a fudge-sicle.

5:00 pm: Would you look at that? The work day is over. My did that go by quickly, and by quickly I mean crept by slower than a 3-legged turtle across a freshly tarred country road. Regardless, it was time to pack up and head home. Turns out there is one bright spot to being unemployed…no commute.

Related Viewing: “Circles” – Soul Coughing – Live on Letterman

The Vonnegut/Flaming Lips Connection

Maybe it’s all the down time I’ve had recently, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about writing a short story or two. I haven’t written one for a while now, so I went online to find some tips to help jump start the process. After a little bit of searching, I came across this gem from one of my favorite writers, the one and only Kurt Vonnegut. I remember reading his story “EPICAC” back in 8th grade, about a computer that learns to fall in love. The way Vonnegut packs so much punch into such a small package is truly incredible. Here’s the first paragraph. It basically defies the reader not to continue on:

Hell, it’s about time someone told about my friend EPICAC. After all, he cost the taxpayers $776,434,927.54. They have a right to know about him, picking up a check like that. EPICAC got a big send off in the papers when Dr. Ormand von Kleigstadt designed him for the Government people. Since then, there hasn’t been a peep about him–not a peep. It isn’t any military secret about what happened to EPICAC, although the Brass has been acting as though it were. The story is embarrassing, that’s all. After all that money, EPICAC didn’t work out the way he was supposed to. (Read the full text here)

There’s no question Vonnegut inspired countless other writers with his unique blend of satire, black humor, and science fiction, but it seems musicians were also taking note. As I was writing this little blurb, my iTunes shuffle randomly decided to play the Flaming Lips’ song “One More Robot/Sympathy 3000-21.” Maybe iTunes has a new feature where it matches songs to what you’re writing about (which would be kind of awesome but also very creepy), but I couldn’t help but feel that Wayne Coyne’s lyrics and music would be a perfect companion piece for Vonnegut’s short story. The lyrics and music are below:

Unit 3021 is warming
Makes a humming sound – when its circuits
Duplicate emotions – and a sense of coldness detaches
As it tries to comfort your sadness -
One more robot learns to be something more than
A machine – when it tries the way it does – make it seem
Like it can love -
Cause it’s hard to say what’s real – when you know the
Way you feel – is it wrong to think it’s love
When it tries the way it does…
Feeling a synthetic kind of love
Dreaming a sympathetic wish -
As the lights blink faster and brighter -
One more robot learns to be something more than
A machine – when it tries the way it does – make it seem
Like it can love -
Cause it’s hard to say what’s real – when you know the
Way you feel – is it wrong to think it’s love
When it tries the way it does…

After listening to it a few times I am fairly convinced that the song’s lyrics are derived directly from “EPICAC,” but I could be always be wrong. Maybe robots falling in love is a common sci-fi trope? Wht do you think? Either way, both the story and the song are awesome and are worthy of a read/listen.

Viva La Revolution

One of the first things I noticed about Europe – aside from all the posh clothes and the widespread affinity for wine – was the traffic, and more specifically, the many roundabouts in the various cities and towns we passed through each day. When it comes to traffic flow, it seems Americans are behind the curve, sticking stubbornly to our old-fashioned system of intersections and stop signs. Moving through a city with a roundabout seemed much faster and far more efficient than sitting at stoplights and waiting for them to turn green. So why aren’t there more roundabouts in America? According to Tom Vanderbilt of Slate Magazine, Americans rely too much on their past experiences, and therefore have a hard time accepting change (surprise!) even if it will make life more efficient.

Mentioning roundabouts seems to invoke some form of the famous “availability bias,” which leads people make judgments based on the memories that can be brought most easily to mind. And so, the American who may have driven as a tourist in France or Greece a number of years back will shudder with recognition, associating the roundabout with terror and near misses. But motorists with such memories often fail to consider that they were driving as tourists in unfamiliar climes, perhaps only for a few days. Roundabouts, like the language, the signage, the food, and just about everything else, were strange and novel, and so the tourist driver, already probably feeling a bit wigged out—for a roundabout in Italy is filled with Italian drivers—felt a heightened level of stress and thereafter consigned the roundabout to the dustbin of terrible ideas—or things that might be good for Europe (like socialized medicine) but don’t translate.

Studies have shown that roundabouts save time, are safer, take up less space, and even require less energy from cars. With evidence like that, maybe it’s time Americans started thinking outside the box, and started embracing the roundabout revolution.

Full Article

Cowboy Traffic Control

Here’s a plain spoken road sign from somewhere in Colorado politely reminding people to watch their speed. How awesome is that?! [via.]

New Comic Project

It’s been a while since the last cartoon, so here’s a brand new one hot off the presses. This one looks good because my friend, Kevin Devoss, did the artwork. He’s pretty good, no? We hope to collaborate more often in the future. Lemme know what you think.

New Demo

Here’s a demo of a song I’m working on with my friend Luke. I wrote it and he produced it. It’s still a work in progress, so comments and suggestions are welcomed. Also, the pictures have nothing to do with the video, but I needed something to go on the screen so I just threw a few in there. Most of them are pix I took with my holga 135.

Oh Hai!

Saw this little bit of whimsy on a bike ride I took this afternoon. I think there should be more of these sprinkled throughout the city. They definitely add some spice to otherwise drab shrubbery.

Shout Out: Mind Series & Spoke Your Mind

Two friends of mine recently launched their own non-profit called Mind Series, a program which “aims aims to promote public health through art and compel communities to act.” Their first project under the Mind Series banner is “Spoke Your Mind,” a cross-country bike tour (pedal power!) which shines a spotlight on the challanges and difficulties of children who’s parents suffer from young onset dementia. Through words, photos and videos, Emily Boardway and Max Larkin have put together quite an impressive project. I’m really excited to see where it goes and also very jealous that they get to cycle throughout the US. If you know anyone who might be willing to host them on their tour, let them know by clicking here. More information can be found at  www.mindseries.org.

Euro Bike Trip: The End

I’ve been recapping this trip for a while now, and I’m starting to get a little restless to move on to other topics. That being said, I’m just gonna go for it and throw a whole bunch of pictures I took on the last leg of the tour, the section from Sete, France to Milan, Italy. If the above picture is any indication, this portion of the ride was by far the most beautiful of the entire trip, and that’s saying something considering the other amazing places we went through. Blue water, clear skies, and smooth roads: a perfect end to a perfect trip.

Cruising up a coastal road.

Looks nice, don’t it?

A small harbor in St. Raphael

Somewhere in Nice, France

Possible marketing slogan: “The French Riviera: where rich people with more money than you can ever imagine go to play with their boats.” Somehow I don’t think that will catch on, but it’s true.

The nicest house I have ever seen.

Made it to Italy! The last country on the tour.

Sky meets water

We got caught in a bit of a no-mans-land and had to improvise our campsite. We ended sleeping in a municipal park in some tiny town on the Northern coast of Italy. If I recall, I slept like a baby that night. Yay for free camping!

A few days later we got lost just outside of Milan. After finding us outside a local library looking confused and dismayed, Angel (far left) and his son Andre invited us to sleep in their backyard. They also fed us and let us use their shower.

The kindness of complete strangers never ceases to amaze me.

Finally made it to Milan. That’s the world famous Duomo Cathedral in the background.

There were lots of people getting their pictures taken while surrounded by pigeons. This is something I will never understand. Is it cool because they have wings? I dunno. It’s basically like getting photographed while being covered with flying rats.

The Duomo up close.

They don’t make doors like they used to.

Duomo Door Detail

Stained glass on the inside of the Duomo.

Inside the nearby shopping arcade. The stores in this place had two prices: expensive and unreasonably expensive.

My bike on the last day of riding in Milan. I treated her like hell for over 2,000 miles, but she never let me down.

The end. Thanks for reading and following along. I hope you enjoyed the pictures. It was a hell of a ride and one that will truly be impossible to forget. I think everyone should have an adventure in their life that they can hold on to and cherish forever, where they can look back 15 or 30 years later and the memories will still be fresh and vivid. This bike trip will certainly count as one of those experiences. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of guys to travel with, and I can’t wait until we meet up for the next one, wherever that place may be.