My main responsibility at the English academy is to help the kids practice their conversational English. Now I know what you’re thinking: “those poor kids are forced to conversations him?!” – but really it’s not that bad. One of the ways I do this is to read selections out of a specialized educational newspaper called “Kids Times” and discuss. After reading through a few of the editions, it turns out Kids Times is not only a great learning tool, it’s also hilarious! Every new copy holds at least a few wacky gems, and I’ll be sure to post the really good ones. Click the link below for a few more examples.
When I first read this I did a serious double take – it was too good to be poo, uh, I mean, true. I’ve underlined the pertinent excerpts in the picture above, but if for some reason you’re having trouble seeing it, the article reads: “Constipation is one of the most common reasons for belly pain. If you haven’t had a bowel movement for a while you are probably constipated. When you have runny, watery bowel movements, you may also feel sick to your stomach.” WTF? I barely feel comfortable talking to my doctor about this type of topic, let alone a room full of 6th graders. Is there a graceful way to explain the concept of constipation? If so please let me know. Thankfully, I didn’t have to discuss this article in class.
What is up this picture? Why is this toddler using a laptop? Why is he lying prone on a bench (couldn’t they have used a less creepy word?) and for God’s sake why isn’t he wearing socks? Come to think of it, this kid is probably the editor of this standout publication.
And now the hard hitting expose you’ve all been waiting for…
A better headline would have been, “Twins: What’s their deal?”
There actually wasn’t anything terribly wrong with this article, but it did have one glaring omission: as anyone with a twin will tell you, having a womb mate is totally awesome – awesome that is, until it comes times to receive presents – then your take gets cut in half. Now I know what getting divorced must be like. Thanks for nothing Jess!