My Stupid Bed

Back at home I had the best bed ever. It was a plush queen size bed with a down comforter and all kinds of pillows. Granted, it was in my parent’s basement so that part kinda sucked, but damned if it wasn’t comfortable. Moving out to Korea I knew there would be downsizing, so it doesn’t bother me that I now have a small single. What does bother me though, is the fact that whoever picked out the bedding apparently stole it from a 12 year-old girl. The sheets are bright lime green with pink and turquoise accents. The kicker is the little bit of embroidery near one end of the comforter, which in a delicate turquoise script reads “Bride of May.” What does that even mean? Now that I look at it, the word “May” isn’t even capitalized, so what may this bride be doing? And as an added bonus, there’s also a baby blue firetruck pillowcase that I think I may have owned when I was three. It’s not like the school I work for wasn’t well aware of my age and gender when I first applied for the job. You had three months to find something suitable and this is the best you could do?

[insert descending trombone sounds here]

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