Must… Resist… Urge… To Make… Crappy. Bear. Pun.
I was cruising through my iPhoto library today when I came across a photo I thought my twin sister Jessie would really like. It’s me and my friend Dan posing with life-sized Build-A-Bears. The bears were out for Children’s Day, and needless to say when I saw them roaming aimlessly, probably overheated and dehydrated, I just knew that they would be perfect for a picture for Jess, who is a huge BaB fan (ok, so I made up that acronym but I still think it’s marketable). Anyway, having a twin sister is awesome – I couldn’t imagine life any other way. Growing up there was always someone to play with – Jessie would probably say “annoy” – and no matter how mad we got at each other we were always back to being friends just a few minutes later. For instance, when I was 8 or 9 (If I’m not mistaken Jess was around the same age too, though I am one minute older) I knocked her front two teeth out with a metal baseball bat. It was an accident I swear, and after a few tears and dentist visits later, all was well. For revenge, she clumped up some cat fur off the back of our family pet and proceeded to drop it in my mouth while I was napping, almost choking me when it blocked off my breathing way. A brief aside: not many people know this, but cat fur dissolves in your mouth a little bit like cotton candy, except instead of tasting like bubblegum or cherry or something, it tastes like kitty litter and dander. Despite our many dust-ups, and there were many, we could never manage to hold a grudge for too long. Twins sisters have other bonuses too. In elementary school you get to tease the crap out of them. When you get to middle school you get to copy off their homework. When you get to high school you get to make friends with their friends. And when you make it college you get to have them shlep you around when you’ve had a few too many. Oh yeah, and Jessie totally held it down during out B’nai Mitzvah when she took all the complicated Hebrew-y prayers while I took the gimmies. There’s also a great built-in idiot filter that comes with having a twin. If someone ever asks me whether my twin sister and I are identical, I just look at them, smile, and turn the other direction. For the record we’re fraternal. So Jess, if you’re reading this, good work. Also, just a heads up but I’m probably going to need to borrow your car when I get back.
Seriously Jess, I’m not kidding about the borrowing your car thing.