Better Hitting Through Chemistry

I don’t normally do a whole lot of posts about sports, but since admitted steroid-user Alex Rodriguez (A-Roid?) rose to fame with my hometown Seattle Mariners, I can’t help but feel a certain bit of schadenfreude regarding his predicament. The sad part is that he is just one of many ballplayers to find better hitting through chemistry. Who knows what other names will be leaked in the coming months. One thing is certain though, baseball is officailly damaged goods. The picture above comes courtesy of Dan Piraro’s brilliant comic, Bizarro, which always manages to be both humorous and timely. Who knows how many current stars would just be washed up bench-warmers without the help of human growth injections and banned substances. Maybe the Major League Baseball should split the players into two separate leagues, but instead of instead of having one with a designated hitter and one without, they can make one with juiced players and one with regular Joes, then let the fans decide: Science or Substance.

Banks, automakers, and now baseball; the list of American institutions that have officially shat the bed this year continues to get longer. If only there was some little bit of feel-good viral video floating around somewhere on the interweb to cheer me up. What’s that you say? There is? Glory Be!! Improv Everywhere does it again.


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